Former Blackout Artist

Achan replied, “It is true! I have sinned against the Lord, the God of Israel. This is what I have done: When I saw in the plunder a beautiful robe from Babylonia, two hundred shekels of silver and a bar of gold weighing fifty shekels, I coveted them and took them. They are hidden in the ground inside my tent, with the silver underneath.” – Joshua 7:20-21

As I was reading yesterday evening, I came across this familiar passage about Achan in Joshua 7. And it reminded me of something bad that I had done many years ago in my youth, something that I thought for sure nobody knew anything about… and something I would take to the grave with me. Except that’s not how it worked out. I’d taken something that didn’t belong to me – something that someone had apparently misplaced, and I decided to keep it as my own instead of returning the item to its rightful owner. A few weeks later the truth would be revealed and my parents were so disappointed in me. I’ll probably never forget that feeling.

Like Achan, my sin began with a look… then I coveted… then I took. Desire gave birth to action. Or, as James says, “after desire has conceived, it gives birth to sin; and sin, when it is full-grown, gives birth to death” (James 1:15).

An unguarded glance here, an unchecked desire there. And a sinful heart whispering all the while, no one will ever know. Then one day I forget to clear my browsing history. Or I forget to delete a text message on my cellphone. That’s the problem living a duplicitous life – there are so many tracks to cover that it’s impossible to keep up.

And sometimes fessing up simply comes too late doesn’t it? How many confessions are like this! They’re not born from watchfulness against sin, but from the painful necessity of being found out! Achan spoke truthfully, but only after God had exposed him. As for me – I had no choice but to speak truthfully to my parents – the rightful owner’s initials were engraved on the inside of the item. But it wasn’t that I waited too long to do the right thing. I had no intention of returning it until after I ‘d been exposed.

When we find ourselves at the terrible place where Achan is – when a secret sin we committed is made public – we are overwhelmed with shame. We wish with all our hearts that we had never done it. We would give anything to go back to the moment when temptation first appeared and walk away from it. But yesterday is in the books and cannot be recalled.

Therefore, loved ones, let this be our constant prayer: “Lord, show me my sin before I commit it. Strip away its disguise. Let me see its bitterness before I taste it, its shame before I embrace it, its end before I begin its path.”

Happy is the Christian who learns to fear the first movement of sin more than the exposure of sin. For the Lord’s preserving grace is a far greater mercy than even His restoring grace.