Former Blackout Artist

In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God. He was with God in the beginning. Through him all things were made; without him nothing was made that has been made. In him was life, and that life was the light of all mankind. The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness has not overcome it. – John 1:1-5

I remember hearing those words as a young boy sitting in church, and I knew they were important. The adults seemed to understand their significance, and I understood enough to know that they were talking about Jesus. But if I had been asked to explain what all of those words together really meant, there’s no way I could’ve done it.

Nearly forty years passed before I would hear or read those words again. Then one evening, as I was trying to fall asleep in my room while at rehab, I picked up my Bible and turned to John’s Gospel. As I read the opening verses, I found myself considering them with a seriousness I had never known before.

“In the beginning was the word…” Before anything existed, Christ already was. He was not part of creation – He was its Creator. The One who would come into this world had existed before the world itself. I had heard those words as a child, but now I was beginning to feel the weight of them.

How can a finite mind even begin to comprehend the eternal God? How often do we read familiar passages without taking a moment to consider the staggering truths they contain? It causes me to wonder how much of God’s glory remains unseen by us simply because we have become so familiar with hearing and reading His Word?

Then John writes, “In him was life, and that life was the light of all mankind…”

I know something about darkness. I’ve seen it in my own life. I have known what it is to travel down a road that leads to even deeper darkness, making choices that had consequences I couldn’t fully see. There was a time when my life seemed to be spiraling toward something even worse. Looking back, I still find myself asking how I came out of it!

I can’t explain it as though I somehow rescued myself; there was no hidden strength I could point to that finally turned everything around. The mercy of God stands over that part of my story in a way that leaves me completely humbled. Somehow, in ways I could not have possibly thought of or produced, the Lord plucked me out of that darkness. The circumstances of His providence remain too remarkable for me to fathom!

And when I read, “the light shines in the darkness…” I find myself thinking about that precious mercy. What did God see in me that warranted such intervention? Certainly nothing that obligated His grace to me. Why would He reach into a life heading in the wrong direction and begin to turn it toward Himself? How does a heart that has wandered so far come to recognize the light of Christ?!!!

I know the answer to that begins with God – His sovereign mercy, and His power to open blind eyes. I also know that I desperately need the Holy Spirit to help me understand the depth of that grace more fully.

Perhaps you too have a part of your own story that you still struggle to explain. Maybe you remember hearing the truth long before you truly understood it. Pause for a moment and consider the patience of God.

The Word was there before the beginning. His light still shines. And when I think of where I might’ve ended up, I can only bow my head and thank Him that His mercy reached me when I needed it most.