Former Blackout Artist

“In my distress I called to the Lord, and he answered me. From deep in the realm of the dead I called for help and you listened to my cry.” – Jonah 2:2

I remember the day very well, a day I shall never forget. Not in this life anyway. I had two choices: to surely die an alcoholic death, or to surrender my life to Jesus. And if I can be brutally honest? I really didn’t want either option. But I had to choose one or the other.

“When my life was ebbing away, I remembered you, Lord, and my prayer rose to you, to your holy temple.”

I have to confess that my prayer that afternoon was nothing like Jonah’s. I wasn’t quoting the Psalms of David, and I certainly wasn’t feeling any gratitude. I felt lost and afraid. I had let so many people down, people who I loved deeply. I truly hated my life. But somewhere deep down I remembered something my mom told me that I never forgot. “Child, you’re incapable of doing anything that would cause the Lord to not love you.”

“Lord, I need your help. I can’t do this on my own. Please help me.”

When it comes to prayer, the Lord ain’t looking for eloquent speech. He wants to hear something genuine, not something rehearsed. Simple, sincere prayers. That’s all I had to give Him at that time in my life – three very simple but sincere statements telling Him my desperate need. And praise His holy Name – He was listening!

As for Jonah… I have to say that his prayer in chapter 2 used to be a confusing chapter for me. And now I know why (I think).

The first time I remember reading the Book of Jonah, I just knew that God would cause that great fish to spit Jonah up on dry land and that he was gonna march right into Nineveh with his newfound “attitude of gratitude” and win over the hearts and minds of all those evil people in the final two chapters!

But then I started reading chapter 4. Wow… I’m like, God, why on earth did you rescue this angry, bitter old man? Why not give him his wish and just take him out of his misery?

All of that to say:

The Lord rescued me from my alcoholism and has done many other great things in my life over the past 8 years, things that would literally take me years to write down and talk about.

And sadly, there have been many days since then when I’ve found myself just as ungrateful and bitter as Jonah was after he was rescued. Yet, not once did God decide to put me out of my misery!

I see it more clearly today, I think. Jonah’s prayer in Chapter 2 was never meant to portray him as this “new and improved” prophet who changed forever. And chapter 4 ties everything together beautifully, revealing just how patient, compassionate, and unchanging our God truly is.

Our hearts can swing from gratitude to grumbling with alarming speed, can’t they? But the mercy of God remains steadfast through it all!

He’s faithful when we’re fickle, patient when we’re prideful, and compassionate when we deserve neither.