“But then I recall all you have done, O Lord; I remember your wonderful deeds of long ago. They are constantly in my thoughts. I cannot stop thinking about your mighty works. – Psalm 77: 11-12
My hands were shaking, and I instinctively backed away. “You can do this,” I said under my breath. “You’ve done this so many times before. Regroup. Think about your target. Take a deep breath. Now, go do what you’ve successfully done thousands of times before and enjoy the experience of seeing the ball go into the cup and winning this tournament.”
A mere 30 inches stood between me and destiny. This was what Roy McIlvoy (Kevin Costner’s character in the golf movie, Tin Cup) referred to as a Defining Moment. “You either define the moment,” he said, “or the moment defines you.”
With thoughts of having done this thousands of times during the many amateur golf years I enjoyed, I made a smooth, confident stroke with the putter and the ball found the heart of the hole. I did it! I finally did it! I won my first club championship!
But as good as I used to be many years ago as an amateur golfer, I could never muster that same confidence in my life off the golf course. It was one setback after another, one huge defeat after another. I could never get the traction I needed to find my purpose in life; that one thing that gave me the same feeling of self-worth and contentment that I felt hitting a golf ball. I went through life like a leaf floating in a river, going wherever the current took me.
Eventually that outlook on life led to alcohol becoming my solution for everything, and it took me to some really dark places. When I finally hit rockbottom and had nowhere else to turn, I had no other choice but to beg God for help.
The years I’ve been sober since that day have seen their challenges. I’ve dealt with a lot of loss during these years. Loss of a career; loss of income; loss of financial security; loss of health; loss of a several close friends and few close relatives. So when I meet someone new in a recovery meeting, I never attempt to encourage them by telling them that things are going to automatically get great just because they stop drinking. That’s not my experience, and all I can do is simply share what my experience has been.
Life threw me curveballs before I started drinking, so it’s only logical to understand that life is going to continue throwing me curveballs after I’ve stopped drinking.
What helps sustain my sobriety however is knowing that God’s grace and mercy has helped me endure all of these hardships as they’ve come without wanting to drink again. This is the miracle in AA – that by working the steps – I discover who God is and how He can get me through life without needing to check out mentally and emotionally. In other words, with His help I can manage whatever happens without feeling so sorry for myself that I feel like completely destroying my life again.
Asaph is the author of Psalm 77, and his theme is that we are comforted through the hard times by remembering God’s help in the past. Recalling God’s miracles and previous works can give us courage to continue moving forward.
Memories of God’s faithfulness helped Israel get through their difficult times. They knew God could do anything, and they knew they could trust Him. They knew there was no situation they would face that was greater than God. All that was required of them was to stop focusing on themselves and turn their focus and obedience to God.
When we face challenging situations today, are we focusing only on ourselves and our problems, or are we looking to God and His solutions? Do we reflect on the many times in the past when He’s helped get us through difficult circumstances? Or do we think only of the pain and struggle and heartache we’ve endured?
Our faithful attitude and obedience means everything, especially in the face of overwhelming trouble.
Friend, we don’t have to let these moments define us. All we have to do is turn to God and ask Him to define these moments.
Not for our glory, but His.
Former Blackout Artist 