Regardless of how much time in sobriety one has, every recovering alcoholic hears two voices. The voice of reason says: You are at liberty to drink whatever you want, but you must not drink alcohol. For if you drink it, you know what awaits. Trouble, followed by more trouble, surely followed by an alcoholic death.
But the voice of insanity says: This time will be different. I will drink again, but with control. I have learned my lesson. I will not find trouble. Certainly, I will not die!
Within those two voices hangs the balance of everything else. Peace and conflict, happiness and sorrow; contentment and misery, purpose and aimlessness; hope and hopelessness, health and suffering; life and death.
Given these certainties, would it not seem obvious that the voice of reason would always prevail in the end? One would think so. In theory, there would be only one voice speaking to him. But in everyday practice, the voice of insanity is always there for the alcoholic. His disease is not one merely of a physical allergy, although there is that component. It also is a sickness of his mind and his spirit.
Just as God gave Adam and Eve the freewill to choose the fruit of whatever tree they would eat, He did so only after giving them a dire warning: If you eat from this tree in the middle of the Garden, you will certainly die.
Eve was tempted by the serpent; she knew the consequences. The Creator had clearly communicated them to her and Adam well before she made the fateful decision that would change all of humanity. And in the balance between reason and insanity hung the balance of everything else: Peace and conflict, happiness and sorrow; contentment and misery, purpose and aimlessness; hope and hopelessness, health and suffering, and life and death.
Though we alcoholics may be tempted today to pick up that drink, let us be ever mindful of God’s warning to us.
You may drink whatever else I have made available to you. But know this: if you drink alcohol, you will certainly die.
We are powerless over many things. But when we take that first drink, we become powerless over everything, including the most important thing: Ourselves.
Former Blackout Artist 