Promise: a declaration or assurance that one will do a particular thing or a particular thing will happen.
There are 12 Steps in Alcoholics Anonymous. One who wants to get and stay sober in AA isn’t under any obligation whatsoever to work the AA program. There are no requirements, there are no musts in AA. Our Steps are suggested as a program of recovery, in the same way that a skydiver who jumps out of an airplane is suggested to pull the ripcord of his parachute at some point.
As a recovering alcoholic undertakes the work suggested to him/her in AA, perfection isn’t required. We do not strive to be something we cannot possibly be. In the past, many of us tried to be everything to everyone and that only brought frustration and resentment. This unattainable pursuit of perfection, to be liked by everyone, is what led most of us to the point where we sought our escape through a bottle.
Progress, however, is most certainly attainable. This is what we desire. And if we are painstaking in our work lying before us, we will come to know what real peace and serenity are.
In the reading and meditating of literature in our daily AA meetings, the AA Promises are often recited. Just like the 12 Steps of the program, there are 12 Promises that gradually materialize if we offer our best efforts. One of those Promises is number three:
“We will not regret the past, nor wish to shut the door on it.”
When I heard this statement recited in a meeting early on in my recovery, I thought they were crazy. Do they not understand who I was and what I did? Do they have any idea of the number of people I’ve hurt over the years because of my drinking? My family certainly regrets it and wishes to shut the door on it!
The guilt was overwhelming. I was ashamed of what I had allowed myself to become. I constantly lied, I said hurtful things to people who loved me, I manipulated and deceived them; I was detached and emotionally unavailable, inaccessible, and unapproachable. This is just the tip of the iceberg. I was utterly spiritually dead.
But as I started working through the steps with a sponsor, things slowly began to change. When I got to the third step, I invited God back into my life and after a couple of months I began to develop my faith and trust in Him again on a daily basis. My prayer life increased from never to three times a day. The more meetings I made, the more I felt accepted and at liberty to be honest with others and myself.
And over time, I began to see my past not as a depressing footnote in life, but a barometer that allows me to see where I once was and where I am today.
Perfection? Hardly. But progress? Absolutely!
I’ve learned that my past can be incredibly useful. Why would I wish to forget where I once was, knowing that my past became the catalyst for change? Did the Apostle Paul ever forget that, in his prior life as Saul, he had persecuted Christians and had them killed? And then, only to become one of the greatest examples of God’s grace and goodness, which all led to him becoming the most accredited writer in the New Testament of the Bible?
When I share my faith journey with others today, my sober journey is a major part of that. That God would not only forgive me for being who I used to be, but then continue helping me by giving me an opportunity to share about His grace, glory and goodness through not only alcoholic recovery, but spiritual recovery?
God promises that HE will forget all about my past. But that doesn’t mean that I should. And that’s where the fifth Promise of AA happens:
No matter how far down the scale we have gone, we will see how our experience can benefit others.
In other words, I’ve been in this pit of desperation you’re in. I know what you’re going through. I know how you feel. But if you’ll take my hand, I’ll pull you out of this hole and show you what I did to get to where I am today.
Just like someone did for me.
Former Blackout Artist 