“The integrity of the upright guides them, but the unfaithful are destroyed by their duplicity.” ~ Proverbs 11:3
“He was a quiet guy, but he always seemed friendly when we would see him out.”
This is such a common description we hear by the neighbors of someone who has committed a heinous crime. He seemed like a great guy… But isn’t it interesting that when family members offer their take, the story begins to shift quite dramatically.
For many years during my active alcoholism, I’m sure that my neighbors, coworkers and friends saw me in a similar light. “Oh, he’s a great guy! And so helpful! Why, he’d give you the shirt off his back!”
And perhaps it was somewhat true, at least for the first few years. But as my drinking became progressively worse, things began to drastically change.
My neighbors, friends and coworkers only saw one side of me – the sanitized version of a man who was slowly drinking himself to death behind the scenes. But my family, well… they were beginning to see the darker side of who I was becoming.
Without fail, the active alcoholic will destroy everything good in his life. Sometimes the destruction will be ushered in rather quickly, due to a tragedy or some other type of significant life-altering event. But for most of us it comes gradually. Our friendships become strained; we lose a job; then we get a DUI, and then the ball starts rolling. Our family sticks by us, praying that we change. But after a while it becomes apparent that nothing is ever going to change. A divorce, a broken family, health problems, money problems, mental problems; all these things surely await the man or woman who refuses to turn away from alcohol.
This is what alcoholism does. It starts with a double life, but eventually ends with multiple lives completely ruined.
No matter where you are in this process, whether you’re just starting to perhaps sense you have a drinking problem, or know you’ve had a problem for a few years, or maybe one of a lucky few who has spent decades in your addiction without what seems to be any major consequences, know this: a single life awaits. One of shame, one of regret, and one of unspeakable damage.
You cannot afford to stay on this fence. As sure as darkness gives way to light, the double life eventually brings complete and utter destruction. Reach out, tell someone you need help. But most importantly, ask God for His help, first.
I asked for His help several years ago, and He responded by surrounding me with people who helped and guided me back to a good and purposeful life… one that today I wouldn’t trade for all the treasure in the world.
With His help, I escaped this double life. And if I can escape it, given where I was, anyone can escape it.
With God’s help.
Former Blackout Artist 