Not long after I returned home from rehab, my wife said to me one evening, “We need to talk.”
Now I don’t know about you, but anytime someone says this to me – the panic button automatically gets pushed. My mind begins to race with the worst-case scenarios playing out and my heart pounds in my throat. So I sat down at the kitchen table, gulped, and prayed that whatever she had to tell me wasn’t life-altering.
“As of this time next month, I will be unemployed. I was given my termination notice today,” she said.
I sat there completely numb, torn between two overwhelming emotions. Certainly, I was relieved that it wasn’t health or marriage related. Huge sighs of relief there. But man… my wife had an awesome career! She was an executive at a large corporation where she had worked for 28 years. Simply put – there was no replacing her salary!
Suddenly, our financial security was mired in deep uncertainty.
To be honest, a drink was the furthest thing from my mind. But the remnants of the pink cloud I had been riding the prior three months evaporated immediately upon hearing that news. The loud thud that echoed throughout the neighborhood that evening was my spirit crashing back to earth.
It was at that very moment that I realized how much I needed to become active in my recovery program.
Several years have passed since that day, and I’ve yet to break my promise to God that I would never drink again if He would help me. And helped me – He has!
Once I became involved in AA, God surrounded me with some wonderful people who had once been desperate and hopeless like me. They brought me in, took me under their wings, offered me some much needed love, and showed me a better way to live. They talked about what they did to get and stay sober, and told me that I could have that same peace and contentment if I was willing to put in some effort and begin living a spiritually principled life.
So… I got to work. I found a sponsor to take me through the life-changing steps of the AA program, and over time life gradually began getting a little better.
Today God has blessed me with the opportunity to offer others wanting to get and stay sober this gift that was so freely given to me. My reward is continued sobriety and a life that, although not perfect, is so much better today than I could ever have hoped for several years earlier.
God has always been by my side throughout it all, but it took the Gift of Desperation for me to realize it. I haven’t forgotten the promise I made to Him for His help and direction when I most needed it. He will make a way if there’s a willingness to change.
He has kept His promise, and for that I’m eternally grateful!
Former Blackout Artist 