“Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, and comes down from the Father of lights.” ~ James 1:17
It’s been quite a while (for me at least) since I had my last drink, and I’ve been required to deal with a lot of life challenges during this time.
Since my last drink…
- a close friend of mine passed away unexpectedly
- my wife lost her job/career
- my sister lost her battle with breast cancer at the age of 39
- my mother passed away
Despite all these things, I’ve not had a desire to pick up a drink.
If you knew me just a little over three years ago and hadn’t seen me since, you would be amazed that I’m even still alive, let alone content with life and sober. But if you know God and have an idea about how His grace and mercy works, you’re probably just smiling along with me and saying, “See, all things are possible through Him!”
Three years ago yesterday evening, I was incredibly scared and completely lost. I was anxiously sitting at a desk before a nurse and filling out a handful of medical forms detailing my health history. After I completed all the paperwork, she told me to do something that no one had ever before instructed me to do; something that I will never forget… something that highlighted just how lost I had become.
“Now, before I assign you your room, I need you to unlace your shoes, and give me your shoestrings and belt. You will get those items back the day you leave.”
The reason she wanted my shoe laces and belt was to help prevent me from hanging myself.
The following weeks would be an emotional rollercoaster for me. I had no idea what awaited me in rehab, never mind what might await me when I would get on a plane to return home 53 days later. I missed my family. I missed my dogs. I missed my favorite recliner, I missed watching football on Sundays after church, I missed sleeping in my own bed. How on earth would life ever be the same after this?
It wouldn’t. And if you knew what my life was like prior to that life-changing experience, you would also know that that would be a good thing, not a bad thing.
Sobriety has had its ups and downs, for sure. Just because I stopped drinking didn’t mean life would stop throwing me curveballs. All of those things above, with exception of my wife losing her job, happened smack in the middle of a global pandemic. Not that there is ever a good time to deal with such heavy, heartbreaking losses of people you love, of course… but the timing couldn’t possibly have made these things any more challenging for me to navigate emotionally.
And yet, here I am today, still sober. A loving God whose encounter would change my life forever; a forgiving and understanding family that has made me feel loved, accepted, and appreciated; a fellowship of fellow recovering alcoholics who have shown me how to find gratitude, perspective, and joy those days when I’m desperately needing them.
All of these precious gifts that I didn’t deserve, but freely given to me by a loving and kind God!
Life is good today. Better than I deserve!
I have good days, and I have great days. The good days are when everything is going my way and I don’t pick up a drink. The great days are when nothing is going my way and I still don’t pick up a drink. 🙂
God, thank you for rescuing me from my life of alcoholism! Thank you for this wonderful gift of sobriety! I humbly ask that you continue to help me each and every day of my life, that I would never forget all that you have done for me, and to help me remain willing to give back to others what so graciously has been given to me. Thank you, Jesus! Amen.
Former Blackout Artist 