Then Joab went into the house to the king and said, “Today you have humiliated all your men, who have just saved your life and the lives of your sons and daughters and the lives of your wives and concubines. You love those who hate you and hate those who love you. You have made it clear today that the commanders and their men mean nothing to you. I see that you would be pleased if Absalom were alive today and all of us were dead.” – 2 Samuel 19:5-6
Some passages in Scripture encourage, enlighten, and inspire us. But some, well…. they cause us to stop, wince a little, and feel the heaviness of what’s unfolding. Because there are times when we’re watching real people walk through moments that are so incredibly raw and painful that it’s hard to know what to do with them. Such is the case with 2 Samuel chapters 18 and 19.
Here we have David – waiting for news that could either save his kingdom or crush it. And when the message finally reaches him, it’s this dramatic collision of both joy and heartbreak. The rebellion is over. The threat is neutralized and the kingdom survives. But the moment David learns how it happened – who ended up paying the price – the bottom falls out. Victory and grief strike in the same breath, and he collapses under the weight of it.
And then there’s Joab, David’s commander. His long-trusted warrior. A man who seems carved out of stone… courageous, tough as nails, and steady. But Joab’s impossible to figure out. He’s loyal, and yet he crosses lines. He fights for David, but sometimes he ignores him. He’s the one who helped orchestrate Uriah’s death, and he’s the one who directly disobeyed David’s command to spare Absalom.
And afterward, while David is drowning in grief, it’s Joab who storms in and bluntly says, “Your men need you. Your nation needs you. You can’t stay in this funk forever. Get up and do what kings are supposed to do!”
Could Joab have harbored resentment toward Absalom for burning his fields a few years earlier? Maybe. Was he convinced Absalom was too dangerous to leave alive? Probably. Was he protecting David… or protecting Israel… or protecting his own judgment? The truth is, we don’t get a clear answer. He’s fierce and loyal, but he’s also flawed and deeply human.
Frankly, Joab is every bit as complicated as the king he served.
And then, of course, there’s David himself – Israel’s greatest earthly king, the man after God’s own heart. And yet he’s also a man whose home was rife with dysfunction and dishonor. A son who slept with his half-sister. A son who murdered his brother and staged a coup. A father caught between enormous family heartbreak and the sobering responsibility of leading God’s people. No one would look at David’s family and say, “Boy, I wish my family were like his.” It was painful and broken, the fallout of earlier sins he wished he could go back and undo.
That’s what makes this passage so heavy – nobody comes out clean. Nobody’s motives are pure. The king hurts, the commander oversteps, the son rebels. And all the while, the welfare of a nation stands in the balance. It is so painfully human!
But perhaps that’s also where we find hope.
The Bible doesn’t hide any of this. It’s not whitewashed, God doesn’t gloss over it. He lets us see the fractures, the conflict, the regret, and the grief… He knows that we live in that world too. Sometimes families have messy breakups, and leaders stumble all the time. Decisions aren’t simple, and there’s always the question of motives. And those decisions have consequences, both good and bad. And sometimes both.
There are indeed times when “victory” still feels like a loss.
And yet, in the middle of it all, God remains unchanging and steady, faithful as always. He works through imperfect kings, flawed commanders, and wayward sons. He works through chaos and heartbreak and faltering leadership. He works even when the story is so painful and messy that there’s no way it can be cleaned up and made pretty.
Maybe that’s what we ought to remember. Not the heroism of the characters or the messiness of the story, but the faithfulness of a merciful God who works through real lives… complicated, broken, deeply human lives – to bring about what He has promised.
Former Blackout Artist 