Better is open rebuke than hidden love. Wounds from a friend can be trusted, but an enemy multiplies kisses. – Proverbs 27:5-6
I knew I had a drinking problem. And a majority of my “friends” that I hang out with at the time knew I was struggling with alcoholism also. But only one of them had the courage to confront me about it.
I was sitting at the bar at my golf club after the round, when my buddy Dave took a seat at the bar beside me. I offered to buy him a drink, but he graciously declined. “I need to talk to you about something,” he said. “You know that I love and care about you, don’t you?”
I jokingly replied, “Of course! Everybody loves me!” He smiled, but I could tell that he was about to say something serious. “What’s up?” I asked. “I’m really concerned about you, man. Every time we get together, you’re drinking. I’m worried about you,” he said. “And not just me, but a number of people. What’s going on buddy? You can talk to me, I won’t judge you.”
I’ll never forget that. At the time I was in complete denial and refused to admit that I had a problem. But all these years later, I still remember that conversation that day, especially when I read Proverbs 27.
The truth does hurt sometimes. And there’s something uncomfortable about confrontation, especially with people we care about. Most of us would rather avoid an awkward conversation than risk upsetting a friend. But God’s Word tells us that real love doesn’t stay silent when something is wrong.
Proverbs reminds us that “open rebuke” is better than love that stays hidden. In other words, being honest – however difficult it might be – can be more loving than keeping the peace. A true friend (like my buddy Dave) will risk a tough conversation for the good of someone they care about.
Dave wasn’t trying to be harsh or self-righteous. He was very humble and sincerely concerned about me. He knew something harmful was going on in my life and his love wouldn’t let the fear of offending me keep him from being honest about his concern.
And it doesn’t have to be something serious, like substance abuse. Maybe it’s an unhealthy relationship, or some other destructive habit, or a pattern of behavior that’s pulling someone away from God. Whatever it is, silence can look like kindness on the surface, but it can actually be a form of neglect.
Yes, truth can sting. Proverbs calls it a “wound.” But it’s a wound that heals. It’s the kind of pain that can lead to growth, change, and restoration. And when it comes from someone who truly loves us, we can trust that it’s not meant to tear us down – but to build us up.
We all need friends like Dave. And we all need to be friends like Dave, too; someone who isn’t afraid to speak the truth, even when it’s hard. And let’s be willing to receive that truth from others with humility, knowing that God often uses trusted voices to shape and correct us.
Today’s Prayer: Lord, thank You for loving me enough to speak truth into my life – even when it’s uncomfortable. And thank You for giving me friends who are unafraid to be honest with me. Help me to be a faithful friend who doesn’t stay silent when something needs to be said. Give me the right words, the right heart, and the right timing. And help me receive correction with humility, trusting that You use it to grow me. Amen.
Former Blackout Artist 