If you’re looking for an easy and enlightening read this summer, I highly recommend Brant Hansen’s book Unoffendable.
Today’s devotional is an excerpt from one of the stories in his book, (p.59-60).
Brant writes:
“[God] wants to know us, and he wants us to know Him. He wants us to want Him. Not ideas or abstractions about Him, but Him. Ultimately, this is a more restful life. Not just because it might mean some quiet, meditative moments – though they’re wonderful – but because when we surrender control, there’s so much less at stake in life for us.
We have nothing to prove, and when we really believe that, we’ll hardly be quick to anger. When we do get angry, we’ll rid ourselves of the anger more easily. Remember: Anger and rest are always at odds. You can’t have both at once.
God wants us to drop our arms. No more defensiveness. No more taking things personally. He’ll handle it. Really. Trust Him. Rest.
Quit thinking it’s up to you to police people, and that God needs you to “take a stand.” God “needs” nothing.
Quit trying to parent the whole world. Quit offering advice when exactly zero people asked for it. Quit being shocked when people don’t share your morality. Quit serving as judge and jury, in your own mind, of that person who just cut you off in traffic. Quit thinking you need to “discern” what others’ motives are. And quit rehearsing in your mind what that other person did to you.
It’s all so exhausting.
It reminds me of Aibileen’s scene with Hilly in the move “The Help.” Hilly is a judgmental, racist, conniving busybody full of religiosity and anger. Aibileen is her friend Elizabeth’s hired help, and a wise woman who, when she finally confronts Hilly, is bracingly honest but still, somehow loving:
“Ain’t you tired, Miss Hilly? Ain’t you tired?”
It’s a riveting and well-known scene. I don’t think it’s purely for the convincing acting (though, in my opinion, Viola Davis should’ve won an Oscar on the strength of this scene alone). I think it strikes a deeper chord. And it resonates with me, and even hurts, because Aibileen’s words are piercing and fitting, and I feel that they were meant for me.
I’ve tried appraising people, determining their value based on how they treat me.
I’ve tried holding on to anger, harboring resentment, and doing the necessary mental gymnastics to justify myself, even if only in the court of my own opinion.
I’ve tried evaluating everything everyone else says, sifting through it to find if there’s some way I’ve been slighted. I’ve tried resisting God’s clear command to forgive as He has forgiven me, and I’ve gone to the great effort to explain – again, if only to myself – how whatever I’ve done really isn’t as bad as what the other person is doing to me.
It’s really hard. It’s really time-consuming. It’s really a drain mentally, spiritually, and even physically.
This gavel, the one I awarded to myself – who knows why? – is really, really heavy. I can keep pronouncing everyone else guilty for the rest of my life, but I’m not sure why.
I don’t want this anymore. Maybe you know what I mean. So let me ask you….
Ain’t you tired?“
If you’re like me – easily offended by other people and need rest – maybe Brant’s book will strike a chord with you too.
You can read more reviews and purchase Brant’s book HERE.
Former Blackout Artist 