“Made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others.” ~ Alcoholics Anonymous, Step Nine
In the grip of our addictions, our sole focus was satisfying our cravings, blinding us to the needs of others. We earned a reputation as “takers,” willing to lie, cheat, and even steal. The subsequent damage we caused was far greater than most of us recognize.
“When Jesus reached the spot, he looked up and said to him, “Zacchaeus, come down [from the tree] immediately. I must stay at your house today.” So he came down at once and welcomed him gladly” (Luke 19: 5-6 NIV).
Although Zacchaeus didn’t have a problem with drugs or alcohol, he did however have an addiction to wealth. His pursuit of money led to him betraying his own people through extorting them and collecting taxes for the oppressive Romans. Despite being despised by his fellow Jews, an encounter with Jesus sparked a profound change in him. Zacchaeus not only repaid his debts, but he even became a “giver,” recognizing the needs of others.
“But Zacchaeus stood up and said to the Lord, “Look, Lord! Here and now I give half of my possessions to the poor, and if I have cheated anybody out of anything, I will pay back four times the amount.” Jesus said to him, “Today salvation has come to this house, because this man, too, is a son of Abraham. For the Son of Man came to seek and save the lost.” (Luke 19:8, NIV).
When we make amends to those we have harmed, our aim should never be selfish in nature. Although the removal of guilt from our past actions is an important process, we should be equally committed to seeing how we have harmed those to whom we owe an amends and how our harm has impacted them. Otherwise, we have accomplished little more than just picking scabs from the wounds of those we have injured.
Depending on the nature of our harm, some people on our list will welcome our amends with a thankful heart, while others might still be unwilling to receive them. Regardless, our effort must be genuine and guided by a willingness in our hearts to make things right.
Questions Worth Considering
1 Why is it important to avoid selfish motives when making an amends, and why is that so crucial in the process?
2 Why is it important to understand and acknowledge the specific harm caused to others when making an amends?
3 Who on your amends list are you most hesitant to approach, and why?
Former Blackout Artist 