“The moment I start hating a man, I become his slave. He even controls my thoughts. I can’t escape his tyrannical grasp on my mind. When the waiter serves me steak, it might as well be stale bread and water. The man I hate will not permit me to enjoy it.” – S.I. McMillen, None of These Diseases
In Matthew 18, we find the parable of the Unmerciful Servant. Peter has asked Jesus a very important question leading up to the parable: “Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother or sister who sins against me? Up to seven times?” Jesus answered, “I tell you, not seven times, but seventy-seven times. (Vv. 21-22)
Jesus then goes on to tell Peter a very short story with an incredibly big truth.
The summary of the spiritual truth Jesus tells is this: those of us who follow Christ are obligated to extend forgiveness. Jesus didn’t say that we should try extending forgiveness to see if it might help, akin to a doctor suggesting medication for a physical illness. Jesus wasn’t suggesting anything. He was giving his followers a direct command to forgive those who hurt them, and not through shallow words, but from the heart. And not just once, not twice, not even seven times as Peter had offered leading into Jesus’ parable.
Forgive as many times as it takes. Stop counting and keeping score. My Father in heaven can keep score, but you shall not!
Forgiveness is hard sometimes, especially when those who harmed us did so knowingly and feel no remorse. But there is one thing we should never forget: A person will never do something to us that is greater than what Christ did for us on the cross at Calvary.
As believers who profess love and faith in Jesus, we are obligated to let the matter go. And not just in a token, noncommittal way, but with genuine and sincere forgiveness. We are not to treat people as garbage needing to be discarded in the waste bin! Jesus makes this explicitly clear all throughout the New Testament.
But sometimes we confuse intentional, controlled politeness as genuine forgiveness. The most common way we do this is through avoiding or ignoring people. We refuse to answer their calls. We don’t respond to their text messages. We see them in an aisle at the grocery and immediately dash to the other end of the store in hopes of avoiding them. Or should it be a relationship in which we’re required to coexist, we often treat them with indifference. If they ask for help with something, we make excuses. If they want to talk with us, we’re too busy. They’re there, but other than that, they’re dead to us. When we do this, we’ve not canceled their debt to us. We’ve canceled them.
“But you don’t know the pain and aggravation this person has caused me,” you may say.
To be clear, forgiveness doesn’t require minimizing or accepting the harm done to us. We’re not obligated to continue subjecting ourselves to abusive behavior, whether it is verbal or physical in nature. But we are to release our anger and vengeance and give it over to the Lord. We are to let it go. Otherwise, holding on to the anger and resentment destroys us.
You may say, “Even if I forgive them, they’re never going to change.” You may be right! In the parable Jesus told to Peter, the first servant was forgiven his enormous debt by the king, and still he refused to change! Just because we forgive someone doesn’t necessarily mean they will change. But when we forgive someone, it changes us.
Jesus cared about people. He came to help them. He comforted them. He encouraged them. He healed them. He came to save them! And yet the people he loved and cared about the most hated him so much that they had him executed. No man on earth endured more persecution and hatred than Christ. But what was one of the final things he said as he was being nailed to the cross?
Father, forgive them. For they do not know what they’re doing.– Luke 23:34
This was Jesus’ showing compassion, even as the crowd laughed and mocked him while life was waning from his body. He never stopped loving them. This is his standard.
And as his followers, his standard is our standard. This is our obligation. This is how we receive forgiveness from God in return.
Keep loving them. Keep forgiving them. As many times as it takes, because you will never forgive someone as many times as my Father in heaven has forgiven you.
Who comes to your mind today as you read this morning devotional? Who in your life do you need to forgive? Pray for God to give you the willingness to forgive them through his Holy Spirit.
He will.
Former Blackout Artist 