“Peter answered him, “We have left everything to follow you! What then will there be for us?” ~ Matthew 19:27
Earlier this week while reading my morning devotionals, I came across the parable of the Vineyard Workers in Matthew, chapter 20. Of course, there’s a reason why Jesus tells this story, a vital reason. But that aside, as I read the parable, that still didn’t stop me from relating to those workers who came in early in the morning and were bothered by the generosity of the farmer who had rewarded the workers who came in much later with the same daily wage.
It immediately took me back to an early childhood memory.
I had been invited to a friend’s birthday party, and it may well have been the first birthday party that my mother allowed me to attend. My buddy told me there would be lots of cake and ice cream, so I begged and begged and finally my mother agreed to let me go. I was so looking forward to having some cake and ice cream!
But before we cut into the cake, my buddy’s mother had an announcement. “Before we have the cake and ice cream, let’s let Bobby open the birthday presents!” Bobby apparently had a lot of friends with wealthy parents, the kind who could afford the best toys. Like remote controlled cars. I had always wanted one of those things terribly. I had seen them in boxes in the stores, but I didn’t know anyone who had one. Hmm… that sure must be nice.
The gift opening went on for what seemed like an hour. And as I sat there watching my friend get all of these cool toys, I immediately started feeling sorry for myself. The more he opened, the worse I felt. In fact, I became so jealous that I left the party early and went home without even waiting for the cake to be cut and served! I went home hungry!
When I walked through the door, my mom was like, “Well, you’re back home awful early. Was the party cancelled?” I told her that I wasn’t feeling so well and that I just wanted to come home and watch tv. I didn’t want her to know I was disappointed that I never got birthday gifts like the ones Bobby got.
You know, that jealous little boy inside of me can still surface on occasion. Sometimes I think to myself, “God, why is it that you do so many good things for people who don’t deserve it, but when I ask you for something simple, something I need, it’s like you’re ignoring me? This is so unfair!”
In these moments I quickly forget that the way the world operates and the way God operates aren’t remotely the same. In this life we have a system of law that is relatively simple to understand. We get what we deserve. It is a merit-based system. We agree to go to work for a certain wage; we clock in, we work, we clock out, and then we come home. But God’s system is much more difficult to understand. It isn’t about the law with Him, but rather His grace. God deals with us according to who He is, not according to who we are or what we’ve done.
This is how grace works. And I know this, but still I struggle with it sometimes.
In Romans 9: 14-16, Paul reminds his readers of a conversation God had with Moses back in the book of Exodus. “What then shall we say? Is God unjust? Not at all! For he says to Moses, “I will have mercy on whom I will have mercy, and I will have compassion on whom I have compassion.” It does not, therefore, depend on human desire or effort, but on God’s mercy.”
The fact of the matter is that I simply don’t deserve God’s grace. No one does. And that’s the point. We can’t earn it. But He does give it to us, every single one of us. And He gives it to us according to who He is, not according to who we are or what we’ve done.
God loves us. It may appear to the human eye on occasion that He loves some more than others, but I know this isn’t the case. He gave His Son, Jesus Christ, to die on the cross for ALL of us.
That is truly amazing grace.
Former Blackout Artist 